Singaporean mama Jamie Lee talks in great detail about her experience with Postpartum Anxiety, including the warnings signs and treatment options, and her ongoing struggle to shake any perceived stigma of mental illness. And she is a stronger mama to her son because of it! If you have any worries or concerns about maternal wellbeing and mental health, contact Out Of The Blues here in Dubai. 

I’ve lived with anxious thoughts all my life. But not quite the kind I experienced after the birth of my son, Noah, in April 2017. I had a smooth and enjoyable pregnancy. At 38 weeks, I delivered a healthy baby boy within 7 hours of admission. Everything was going as planned and I couldn’t wait to finally embark on my journey as a mother. It was perhaps because things had gone so well that I was unprepared for what was to come.

During confinement, I had the usual worries about Noah’s milk intake, diaper output, and overall health. While these recurred throughout my day, these worries were manageable. It was not until I found myself bawling in my office toilet when I returned to work that I realized these thoughts were morphing into something more insidious.

During this episode, I saw a video of a child drowning in a baby spa because he was left unsupervised and I had thought it was Noah. My hands were shaking, my heart was racing, my chest tightened, and I was gasping for air. It took me a good few minutes to realize that it wasn’t Noah.

I knew something wasn’t quite right and became more aware of my thoughts and actions. I realized I was afraid to stand near windows while carrying Noah, regardless of whether they were opened or closed. I refused to step foot in my service yard because I had very vivid thoughts of him falling fifteen storeys. I would read horrifying news about how someone had bludgeoned a cat to death and worried this person would find my son. I would stay awake at night to ensure Noah was breathing as he slept. And when I did sleep, I had nightmares of him drowning in a bathtub because I left the water running.

I was afraid to talk about this because these thoughts seemed too gruesome for someone who had just welcomed her bundle of joy. But when a friend reached out, I plucked up the courage and confided in her. She encouraged me to see a psychiatrist and even accompanied me to the hospital. It was then that I was told my symptoms sounded like I had postpartum anxiety.

While I was familiar with postpartum depression, I was not at all aware of postpartum anxiety. Since then, I did some research and have four reasons why it is important we talk about this.

1. It’s a Hidden Disorder

In this article, postpartum anxiety is defined as when women have “a lot of fear, tension, poor concentration…and they’ll have a lot of intrusive, unwanted persistent thoughts, images, fears of the baby being harmed.”

Unlike symptoms of postpartum depression such as persistent sadness, worrying about your baby may seem normal to many, if not all, mothers. It is because of this perceived normalcy that postpartum anxiety is harder to recognize and often goes unnoticed by both mothers and the people around her. And while hospitals are equipped with the necessary screening tools to identify mothers with postpartum depression, that’s not the case for postpartum anxiety.

2. The Goddess Myth

According to TIME Magazine, the Goddess Myth is a rampant ideal that impacts mothers worldwide. It tells mothers, and everyone else, that we are expected to flawlessly journey through motherhood and feel fantastic while doing it. This ideal makes it difficult for mothers to speak freely about their struggles, for fear that they would be seen as an incapable mother unable to handle “normal worrying”.

So on top of poor public awareness, how do we prevent mothers with postpartum anxiety from falling through the cracks when the very source of this anxiety – the mother herself – thinks it’s unsafe to talk about?

3. A Higher Prevalence

While most research focuses on postpartum depression, not much focuses solely on postpartum anxiety. Results from the few studies done have shown that this disorder occurs more often in mothers than postpartum depression. For example, in a follow-up study of 310 Canadian pregnant women, postpartum anxiety was three times more common than postpartum depression. In another study done on 1,024 postpartum women, the percentage of women diagnosed with postpartum anxiety was twice as high.

4. Equally Debilitating

Just as with postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety comes with debilitating symptoms. Mothers can have poor eating and sleeping habits and find it difficult to concentrate on the most menial of tasks. It may also manifest in physical symptoms like nausea, breathing difficulties, and panic attacks. In severe cases, medication is needed to cope with daily functioning.

I was offered a prescription of antidepressants and sessions once every two weeks with my psychiatrist, who was not able to give me a definitive answer on whether traces of the drug would be transferred to Noah via breastmilk. The thought of even a small trace worried me enough to reject the idea of medication altogether.

I agreed to therapy but later found it difficult to continually take time off work without anyone finding out I was seeing a psychiatrist. However, within those few sessions, I felt a sense of relief that fears I had initially deemed too gruesome to talk about, were spoken out loud, acknowledged, and understood. I was reminded of my strengths and taught how to steer my thoughts in a healthier direction.

I am still a work in progress. Looking back, I wish I knew it wasn’t “just a new mom thing,” or that I had to pull myself together on my own to be seen as a good mother. My only regret was not seeking treatment earlier because seeing a Psychiatrist meant I had a clearer understanding of what I had and how I was going to recover.

On top of medication and therapy, there are other resources that help support women who struggle with mental health issues. Mothers, if you have the slightest inkling that you may be suffering from postpartum anxiety, reach out. Nobody needs to do this alone and mama, you are no exception.

The post My Journey with Postpartum Anxiety and 4 Reasons We Need to Talk About It appeared first on Sassy Mama.

A gorgeous pregnancy glow is one thing but when it’s hot, hot, hot out there and you’re carrying a bump the size of a huge watermelon plus feeling totally nauseous, that glow is more like a mega sweat. We hear ya mamas-to-be, it’s not much fun waddling about feeling gross and swollen. Want to know how to survive the hot months with a bump in tow? we’ve put together some of the best ways to be pregnant and stay cool and comfortable over the summer. So get your feet up (that’s tip number 7 btw…) and have a read.

Read More: Prepping For Pregnancy 

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I have been pregnant for what feels like two years now and I have reached a stage, 36 weeks in, where just getting up from the sofa is a job for a professional contortionist. I am still working full time so pampering has not been very high on my priority list but when the Sassy Mama team got in touch asking me if I would review the pregnancy massage service at Sensasia for their online magazine, I was literally on it.

So there I went on a Sunday morning (best time to have a pampering treat and start the week on a high, trust me!) to Sensasia’s Jumeirah 1 branch to road test their Yummy-Mummy to be massage for a whole 90 minutes of what I can only describe as pure bliss. The whole experience was flawless in my book: from the warm welcome with cold towel and fresh lemon infused water, to the perfectly executed massage itself (I think my wonderful therapist called Margie may have a been an angel fallen from the sky) and the after-treatment healthy snack and ginger tea in the relaxing room.

Being 8 months pregnant is pretty challenging in itself physically let alone when trying to lie down in a comfortable position. The treatment rooms have ridiculously comfortable massage tables and they use a bunch of lovely soft pillows and perfectly rolled up towels as props to get you in the right position. I felt so cosy I think I nodded off a few times throughout the treatment. Sorry Margie! Another bug bear of mine, and pregnant ladies out there will understand my frustration, is that usually getting a massage when expecting is not much more than a gentle light rub and a stroke up your back for a hour.

Lovely enough and better than a kick in the teeth of course but not exactly doing anything for those tired limbs, swollen ankles and painful lower back… My therapist at Sensasia knew exactly what she was doing and actually applied decent pressure to those tragically painful areas of my pregnant body and it did wonders for my water retention. I relaxed completely for over an hour, something I think hadn’t happened in about 8 months! I had read on various mama forums about the reputation of Sensasia’s mum-to-be massages and it certainly lived up to its high expectations. Their website has a warning their massages can get addictive and I am sorry to report it may well be true as I am already planning to book my next session in a couple of weeks.

All the details:
Yummy Mama-to-be Massage
A specialised bump friendly massage to prevent stretch marks, relieve fatigue, hydrate the skin or ease fluid retention.
Price: 445 DHS | 550 DHS
Timings: 60 MIN | 90 MIN
4 locations: Downtown, Emirates Golf Club, Palm Jumeirah/Golden Mile, The Village/Jumeirah 1
www.sensasiaspas.com

You get 10% off your next treatment if booked within 30 days from today on your initial massage. The offer expires on June 15, 2018.

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Recent research has suggested that as many as one in four women will experience depression, anxiety or other mental health problems during pregnancy or within the first year of delivery. This makes negative thoughts, unpleasant and intrusive images and self-criticism very common.

What about Men?

Research also demonstrates the impact of this time on the men involved. Watching their loved one go through all that is entailed in carrying and delivering a baby can leave some men feeling helpless. This is especially the case in a traumatic birth or when things don’t go quite according to plan. Furthermore, evidence points to a physical hormonal change in men too, which contributes to feelings of depression and anxiety postnatally for fathers.

So all in all, conceiving, carrying, delivering and then caring for an infant can be a tricky time for many.

Prevention

There are a number of factors that are shown to be helpful at such a time. Namely, a supportive partner and family, an open mind in the delivery room and not getting caught up in doing things perfectly.

Be kind, seek support and take breaks

Research shows that being kind to yourself is an important part of dealing with low mood and anxiety at this time. Understand that this is common, that no-one does this perfectly and give yourself permission to feel anxious or low. Being angry at yourself for not coping as well as you’d like adds a whole layer to this that you don’t need.

No-one expects you to do this on your own. Don’t be afraid to lean on people. If you don’t have family support (or even if you do) consider bringing in reinforcements from a nanny or nursing agency. An extra pair of hands for a few hours allows you time to look after yourself and gives you a break. If you’re battling depressed or anxious thoughts, it’s even more important to look after yourself. Don’t isolate yourself. Share how you’re feeling with your husband, friend, support group or professional.

Signs that you may benefit from professional support.

We can assume that the first weeks and months are going to feel all over the place. Your mood will be up and down and you’re likely to feel more irritable and a little anxious at times. That said, it’s important to know when these normal experiences become something needing professional support. Here are some signs to look out for:

Symptoms of Depression

• Feeling low, hopeless or numb – some people describe feeling nothing at all
• Lack of interest and/or pleasure in life, yourself or the baby
• No energy – finding it difficult to cope and get through the day
• Often feeling close to tears, highly sensitive to other’s comments or emotional
• Feeling angry, irritable or resentful towards other mothers, the baby or your partner
• Changes in sleep – not being able to sleep even when you have the opportunity, or conversely, wanting to sleep all the time
• Changes in appetite – accompanied by weight loss or weight gain
• Difficulties concentrating, thinking clearly or making simple decisions
• Feeling isolated, alone and disconnected from others
• Thoughts of harming yourself, your baby or other children.

Symptoms of Anxiety

• Feelings of fear and worry which begin to ‘take over’ your thinking
• Feeling irritable, restless, tense or constantly ‘on edge’
• Racing heart/strong palpitations – sometimes panic attacks
• Recurring worrying thoughts such as that you are not doing things right and/or that something terrible will happen
• Distressing images keep going through your mind
• Unable to sleep – even when you have the opportunity
• Avoiding situations for fear something bad will happen.

If you notice that some of the above symptoms apply to you and they have been present for two weeks or more, and/or they are particularly troubling, it’s a good idea to seek professional support.

Treatment

International guidelines for best practice recommend cognitive behaviour therapy in the treatment of anxiety and depression in the antenatal and postnatal periods. Sometimes (but not always) medication is necessary and some medications are safe to use when pregnant or breastfeeding.

Maternal Mental Health Services

Because the impact of maternal mental health problems can be significant if left untreated, at Vivamus we have a focus on emotional health in pregnancy and after birth. We routinely address the following:

• Depression and anxiety during pregnancy
• Postnatal depression and postnatal anxiety
• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) during pregnancy and Postnatal PTSD
• Birth trauma
• Fear of childbirth (tokophobia)
• Assistance in bonding with the new baby
• Support for the father
• Support for the couple during pregnancy and in the first year (and beyond!).

We don’t judge, we listen and we provide treatments that are shown to be helpful in getting you and your family back on track.
For appointments with Dr. Marie Thompson visit www.vivamus.me E-mail: hello@vivamus.me or call: 04 4403844

The post How To Maintain Maternal Mental Health When Everything Gets Too Much appeared first on Sassy Mama.

Whether you’re breezing through pregnancy and just fancy a little treat or you’re finding the whole thing kinda exhausting, one thing’s for sure – you deserve some pampering (come on, you’re growing a little human being!). Our beauty contributor Sonam has rounded up 5 of the best treatments to give mamas-to-be a few minutes to relax and ease any aches and pains. Enjoy!

Read More: ‘Bless’: A Beautiful New Morning Retreat For Mamas-To-Be 

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When I was pregnant with my second child I was lucky enough to be surrounded by a wonderful group of doulas who organized a ‘Mother’s Blessing’ for me.

What is a Mother’s Blessing you ask?

Well a ‘Mother’s Blessing’ is a bit like a baby shower but instead of a focus on gifts it involves nurturing and nourishing the pregnant woman. It’s a time when her girlfriends and the women in her family gather together to shower her with love and attention and to help prepare her mind, body and soul for the journey of motherhood.

It has its origins in an old and beautiful traditional ceremony called a ‘Blessingway’, which is an old Navajo (Native American) ceremony, which celebrates a woman’s rite of passage into motherhood. It’s a beautiful and unique way to honour a mother-to-be, spending time with her, sharing stories and fears and enjoying rituals and ceremonies such as pampering foot massages, belly painting, stone painting where encouraging words are painted on stones and given to the mother to put around her house, and of course sharing healthy and nourishing food.

My favourite ceremony was the ‘The Bead Ceremony’, where each guest brings a special bead to create a necklace for the mother to wear in the last few weeks of pregnancy and during birth to remind her of the support and love of her sisters.

I have a very special picture of me wearing mine 2 minutes after my son Indiana was born. It helped me to feel so loved and supported – like my sisters all around the world were right there with me.

For more ideas and information about how to plan your own ‘Mother’s Blessings’ visit here and here.

But what if you don’t have anyone to organise a mothers blessing for you?

Over the past 8 years of teaching Hypnobirthing (read more about hynobirthing here) to hundreds of couples, I’ve noticed that because a lot of us are away from our families or are new to Dubai, some mums-to-be don’t have that sisterhood in place that can organise a Mothers Blessing for them.

So I’ve teamed up with my amazing yoga teacher and all round wonder woman Stephanie Hamilton from Nektar Yoga Soul Retreats and we are very excited to bring you an authentic and nourishing experience which we have called ‘BLESS’

This morning retreat will connect a circle of like-minded women through blessings of self-care rituals, bonding, and wellness and be a chance for pregnant women to connect to themselves, each other and their babies on a deeper level, encouraging feel good hormones, a sense of community, and a chance to rejuvenate their body, mind, and spirit as they prepare to welcome their blessed one.

We will spend the morning doing yoga, fear release and bonding meditations, journaling, belly blessings, making our own unique essential belly blessing oil to take home and of course sharing a yummy nourishing vegetarian meal together.

And all this for just AED 495 per person
(Plus – if you bring a pregnant friend and get a 50 dhs discount)
Location is Umm Sequim
March 19, 2018
Timings 9.30am – 2pm
Contact jasmine.collin@yahoo.com for more info and bookings

To find out more about Jasmine

www.jasminecollin.com
www.loveparentinguae.com

Read more: That Mama: Jasmine Collin

To find out more about Stephanie

www.nektarsoulretreats.com
www.nektar.ae

We both look forward to welcoming you to a unique and unforgettable morning which will leave you feeling loved, connected and blessed.

Jasmine & Stephanie x

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